Lost all my money. Feeling suicidal

Hi my names steven i'm 29 and I live with my dad in his house. I managed to save 22 k in ten years even being in and out of jobs due to the fact Ive had no bills or anything to pay for. I've been very carefull to save this money but I have also been on a few nice holidays aswell. I suppose they just need help immediately and things get better or worse and they don't post again. Your under 30 and a lifetime in front of u try to be positive, the only way of winning and beating this evil addiction is to not gamble, u saved 22k before u can do it again. Gambling and winning is such a high that is so easily addictive, but to say it's too late to quit is nonsense. Gambling and winning is such a high that is so easily addictive, but to say it's too late to quit is nonsense. I will say this. DO NOT ever think you are over this. I have had slip ups after 5, 7 months free, thinking I was over it and let down my guard. I have never had an urge to bet ever, apart from that day when i had an urge to get my losses back and ended up losing everything. Steven, I read your first post back in Aug and can see myself in that. I lost 7k of savings and in my depressed state of mind tried to win it back. I am now 20k in debt. Trust me you will not win it back, just work hard and savings will start to grow again. Find something to aim for either in job or personal satisfaction. I was gamble free for 15/20 years (arcade and bingo hall slots) then last year I made the terrible mistake of trying online slots thinking I could now control my gambling. Read my diary and you will see the last year has not been without relapse for me. I'm now in a much better place and am 50 days gamble free tomorrow and like you have no intention of gambling again. Keep strong, resist those urges that at times will creep upon you and you will continue on your recovery. Small steps one day at a time.I wont let my guard down, the thing is, I have never had an urge to bet ever, apart from that day when i had an urge to get my losses back and ended up losing everything. GA blog site , I don't recommend sharing stories on your winnings because that's what draws people to gambling . Always thinking of the possibilities of winning but there's a greater possibility of lossing. I pray we will all be relieved of this burden .Im really sorry to hear that i also had a lot of heavy losses started around 500 bucks then went to around 10k i went up and down throughout the process but i ended up lossing hard earned money. I don't know what you complaining about, you should of managed you winnings better. Las Vegas. I graduated with a Masters in Engineering but I cannot find a good paying job. I have been working as a delivery driver and sales assitant. I work outside a lot, so it gives me time to gamble slot machines between customers. If alcohol is your trigger to gamble then don't drink. Call teh casinos immediately, tell them you are an addict, they are the ones who screwd up giving you credit without checking. It is an ugly disease that is progressive unless you have total self control. Easier said then done obviously. It's an empty feeling when you lose and a great feeling when you win. Sick part is I am here writing this because I am stuck this week down 6k with 4k in my bank account. My wife is not a horrible spender but when she asks me to give her like 200 but to go food shopping, I give her an aditude because I am aggravated over my problematic gambling. I give her an aditude over 200 bucks that goes and buys food but I am quick to put 1k on the over in the marlins game to try and "recoup" some loses. I guess I'm reading your story because misery loves company, but the truth is we both don't have the willpower to say to ourselves that we are done gambling. Our aim is to strengthen worldwide understanding of addiction and minimize its harmful effects. When I was 25, I quit a three pack a day cigarette habit. When I was 37, I quit a heavy drinking problem. Like my father before me, I was proud of myself for quitting. But unlike my father, I went to only three AA meetings, thought I had it licked and was in recovery. While I was at the conference, in between meetings and responsibilities, I gambled at the slot machines. If on a scale of 1 to 10, I quit my drinking at a 7, my gambling did not begin at 1— it began at 7. I had a built in tolerance for gambling - quarter slots were not good enough, dollar slots were not exciting enough. Within six months of starting my gambling in earnest, I was playing $100 slots – the highest available - at $200 a pull. For me it was only about the high - the greater the risk, the greater the reward.I could not lose money fast enough. Within six months of my intense gambling I had lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. I went through my home equity line, all of the credit I could get from my credit cards, and borrowed from anybody who would give me money - all under false pretenses. I learned I had to fill it with something else. That is when my true recovery began.I would get there but it began with my recognition that true recovery was essential. Money could not fill up that hole inside of me. More things would not fill up that hole. Only the belief in myself as an honest, spiritual person could begin to heal the empty space within me.I work every day to be in recovery. For someone who always wanted to take the easy way, it is hard work. But it is not as hard as being fired. From her story I gather she never identified clearly what the problem was that she thought to avoid by addictive means. Many of us lack the necessary coping skills required in life. I agree with much of what she has shared. The 12 Step Programs are designed to provide a better way of thinking and living but to work on that through recovery requires abstinence from the illness. We do this to escape life and not have to think about whatever the problem really is. We are as sick as our deepest secrets.

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